I feel the pleasure of pain flow through my broken body, i grow more hungry... i can taste the metalic blood in my mouth move around with my siliva from all the beating...deep in my thoughts, i hear wispers in my voice say "What have i done?" i have no idea why this is happening to me... why is he beating me...? hes' so abusive.... i've done nothing to unplease him... all i did was ask why he was yelling at mommy..... i dont like when Chris yells, my mom's boy friend can go to hell... and burn his skin off his flesh... i wanna see him suffer as i did... but i want his sufferings far more worse then mine!
he pins me to the ground, throughing his fists at my face, i cannot live with my pasat... my past comes to me in my dreams every so often... i cant handle this pain that chris brings for me.... i have to try not to cut myself... i cant reasist the gental pains of a sertain razor, i watch the dark red blood of mine flow on the outside of my skin, i watch it smear on my leg.
I place the razor on my leg, i press the razor down hard against the gental beaten skin... i feel the blade already trying to slice its way through my flesh... then... the fun begins to start my pleasure.
As i slide the razor down so very slowly, i can see the blood get cought onto the rozor's sharpened blade. i cut only so deep. just enough to see the inside of me... i watch the blood poor out from under my skin. i watch it get glued to my white cloth, as i cleanse my wound... it still bleeds, the blood wont stop gushing out. i cant keep the blood in.
i can see the yellow tissue getting covered with my blood every time i wipe it away.